🚤 Handcrafted Miniature Replicas

LITTLE ASS
BOATS

We shrink your boat down to desk size.
Because nothing says "I peaked on the water" like a miniature replica next to your monitor.

Shrink My Boat How It Works
🍹 SUNBURNS FADE. YOUR LITTLE ASS BOAT IS FOREVER. 🍹

HOW WE SHRINK YOUR BOAT

You send pics, we make it little. (We know it's bigger off camera.)

1
📸

SNAP YOUR BOAT

Take a few pics of your pride and joy. Glamour shots encouraged. It's not vain if it's a boat.

2
📏

TELL US THE SIZE

How long is your boat? We build at 1/12th scale — so your 30-footer becomes a 30-inch masterpiece.

3
🎨

WE BUILD IT

Our team hand-crafts a replica so accurate your marina neighbors will get jealous. Again.

4
📦

IT SHOWS UP

Delivered to your door. No trailer, no boat ramp drama, no guy in a Tacoma yelling at you.

PRICING AT 1/12TH SCALE

Every replica is built at 1/12th scale for museum-quality accuracy. Your 30-foot boat becomes a 30-inch showpiece. Simple math, serious craftsmanship.

🧮 WHAT'S MY BOAT GONNA COST?

Enter your boat length and watch the math do its thing.

ft
Replica Size 25 inches
Standard Price $1,500
Build Mine →
🏆

WHAT'S INCLUDED

Standard with every build

$1,500

Starting price — boats 25" and under
+$50 per inch above 25"

  • Museum-quality 1/12th scale replica
  • Hand-designed, sanded & gel coat finished
  • Factory decals, registration numbers & graphics
  • Accurate motor, electronics, radar & outriggers
  • Rod holders, cleats & hardware details
  • 1 main color and 1 trim color
  • Display base at the angle of your choosing
⚡

ADD-ONS

Make it even more extra

CUSTOMIZE

Per-inch pricing based on replica size

  • Additional base colors — +$2/inch
    More than 1 base color? We got you.
  • Custom wrap replication — +$5/inch
    Design file required for accuracy.
  • All factory decals & registration numbers always included

📐 QUICK EXAMPLES

22-foot boat
22-inch replica (under 25" threshold)
$1,500
30-foot boat
30-inch replica (5 inches over threshold × $50)
$1,750
35-foot boat
35-inch replica (10 inches over threshold × $50)
$2,000
42-foot boat
42-inch replica (17 inches over threshold × $50)
$2,350

BUILD YOUR LITTLE ASS BOAT

Upload your boat pics, pick your options, and we'll handle the rest. No CDL required.

We need 7 photos to build an accurate replica. On a trailer or in the water — both work.

📷 EXTERIOR (4 shots)
Port side (left) Starboard side (right) Bow (front) Stern (rear)
🎛️ INTERIOR (3 shots)
Console Bow (from inside) Stern (from inside)
📸

Drag & drop or click to upload

JPG, PNG, HEIC accepted. The more angles, the more accurate.

A name, quote, or inside joke engraved on your base.

Estimated Total $0

We'll confirm details & send an invoice. No charge until you approve.

THE PERFECT GIFT FOR

For the person who has everything — except a tiny version of their boat.

🎂

BIRTHDAYS

"Wow, another year older and your boat's still in the shop." Here, have a tiny one that works.

👔

FATHER'S DAY

He doesn't need another tie. He needs a desk-sized reminder of his floating money pit.

🎄

CHRISTMAS

Finally, a boat that fits under the tree. And under budget. (Well, kind of.)

🤷

JUST BECAUSE

You don't need a reason. You already bought a boat — clearly impulse decisions are your thing.

QUESTIONS? WE'VE HEARD 'EM ALL

How long does it take to build my little ass boat? +
Expect 6–10 weeks. These are handcrafted, museum-quality pieces — not something we're pulling off a shelf. Before we collect payment, you'll get a confirmed delivery date. Orders are first come, first served, so if you're buying for a birthday, Father's Day, or the holidays, inquire early on lead times. Unlike your boat mechanic, we actually hit our deadlines.
What photos do you need? +
The more the better. Both sides, bow, stern, interior if possible. Think of it like a dating profile for your boat — show us the good angles. We can also work with manufacturer specs if you have them.
How accurate are the replicas? +
Scary accurate. We match hull shape, gelcoat colors, graphics, and details down to the hardware. The only thing we can't replicate is the sound of your wallet crying at the fuel dock.
Does it float? +
Technically? Maybe. Should you put it in your pool? Absolutely not. It's a display piece, not a bath toy. (Though we can't stop you and we won't judge.)
Can I order one as a gift without the boat owner knowing? +
That's literally half our orders. Sneak some pics of their boat at the marina, send 'em to us, and prepare to win gift-giving forever.
How much is shipping? +
Free shipping for all orders in Dade and Broward counties — because we're local and we love you. Everywhere else, standard shipping and packaging rates apply. Don't worry, we'll calculate the exact cost before payment is required. Still cheaper than launching your real boat.
What if I sold my boat? (Pain.) +
Then a little ass boat is the perfect coping mechanism. Cheaper than therapy, and it sits on your desk reminding you of the good times. No storage fees, no maintenance, no marina drama.